想要在下周看Call Me By Your Name前看這部，所以在凌晨時(shí)決定睡前把這部看了?？戳瞬簧賂imothée Chalamet的interviews, 他是一貫的靈慧聰敏，質(zhì)地獨(dú)特，與眾不同；所以看到這部電影里他出現(xiàn)的第一幀時(shí)，便有種恍然的熟悉感。 就這部作品而言，是wonderfully crafted script, performance, cinematography, lighting, color, production design, editing, and music. Full of tender and bittersweet warmth. 影片有著crisp sweetness. Lily Rabe和Timothée Chalamet靈氣俱現(xiàn)。他們之間的connection自然、真實(shí)、克制、可愛，有著優(yōu)美的微妙。 Lily Rabe天然清透；沒能?？此淖髌?，但每次看到她，都清晰地感覺到她的uniqueness, 也覺得她perceptively talented. And Mr. Chalamet is like no one and nothing else in the world. He is just simply and impeccably pinpoint, brilliant, talented, ASTONISHING, and TRIUMPHANT. 看到他在這部電影里的很多moment-to-moments都讓人會心一笑，因?yàn)槎加屑?xì)微動人的美。他的craft精練純熟又自然天成，與生俱來。而且他也的確是閃耀到爆炸。我對他的前路抱著最純樸最美好的愿望。 因?yàn)槎淘u字?jǐn)?shù)不夠，所以才發(fā)一篇長一點(diǎn)的。

一切都會好起來的，也許不是今天或者甚至不是明天，但是遲早有一天你會把這些事拋在腦后。

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人們不喜歡你在跟他們說話的時(shí)候還在和別人交談。

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大多數(shù)人都很爛，他們就是這樣的，有些人很好，但大多數(shù)人不是。而最奇異的是，每次遇到一個(gè)好人，都會大吃一驚。

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我杵在大樓中間，然后我看見了天空。我看到了這個(gè)世界上所有我愛的東西，工作和食物，坐下抽煙，無所事事的時(shí)光。我低頭看我的鋼筆，然后我心想我為什么要拿著筆，為什么我要努力變成我不想成為的人，我在辦公室里做什么，把自己變成一個(gè)令人輕蔑，苦苦等待的傻瓜，我想要的一切都在別處，等待著我終于說出認(rèn)清了我自己的那一刻。

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Someone should take care of you too.

關(guān)于偽裝

1）開頭的課堂討論：那些讓我們必須戴上面具偽裝自己的“真實(shí)”。規(guī)矩例如：不能爆粗口（Miss S在爆胎的時(shí)候爆了好多粗口，然后拼命道歉，太好笑了2333）、不能抽煙、

”the thing that really spoke to me was the idea of emotional freedom, like leaving yourself being free. Cause, most people aren't in institutions, obviously, but we are all locked up in some way. “

“We are, aren't we? So when school is an institution, it is not an 'institution', but it is still a place that we have to go everyday, and it can feel like, you are stuck, like you are not allowed to be yourself all of the time, right? What are some other places that can feel like that?"

（不過這里我有點(diǎn)費(fèi)解，怎么突然討論到這個(gè)問題？又為什么突然轉(zhuǎn)回課文？）

（學(xué)生的爭論也沒有懂，所以說他們基本上都是用看電影取代讀課文？真的讀了書的人反而會被嘲笑？）

2）去比賽的路上Margot說：我們幾乎每天都在一起，并且說很多話，但是我們卻對彼此不甚了解。你不覺得這很有趣嗎？

“Don't you think it is interesting, Miss Stevens, that we spend almost every day together and we talk about so many different things, but we don't really know each other? I mean not really."

3）爆胎的時(shí)候：Miss S爆了很多粗口——現(xiàn)在是”在學(xué)?！斑€是”不在學(xué)校“？老師可以爆粗口嗎？

”You curse a lot." "I know."

"When we are at school..." "It's just a switch,"

"Why isn't the switch on now?" "Because we are not at school?"

"but like, we are."

4）修輪胎的路上，Billy想和Miss S聊天，但是Miss S躲得遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)的；直到在路上，Miss S發(fā)覺Billy對她的“拉拉”事件是理解的，他們才開始“真正交流”，甚至Billy以為他可以叫Miss S “Rachel”

5）第一輪比賽后餐桌上?！澳信笥选薄癛achel”之下Miss S恢復(fù)到“老師”的角色，開始管教

6）……

關(guān)于可以信任的傾訴對象

“Just cause people are the people you are supposed to talk to it doesn't mean you can talk to them"有些人似乎是你應(yīng)該信任并且傾訴的，但是這并不意味著實(shí)際上真的是這樣

選擇悲傷還是麻木？

Billy被認(rèn)為“行為失常”并且一直服藥。比賽結(jié)束后他告訴Miss S 他停止吃藥了，并且感覺非常棒；但是Miss S卻問他：我需要找別人來幫忙嗎？

Billy認(rèn)為Miss S和他一樣悲傷，但是她選擇用一般意義上的”穩(wěn)定“（工作車和房子）來麻木自己，告訴自己一切都很好。

“Up until a week ago, I was pretty straight, the medication, right? I am saying I am sad, too, Rachel, but the pill I take to make me not sad and they made me feel nothing. Those are my options: sad, or numb. So I stopped taking them, and I didn't tell anyone, and I was scared, I thought I was gonna go crazy or something. But I don't! I feel great! I feel like, alive, like I could just..."

inside or outside？

Miss S和她的一夜情對象的對話：當(dāng)老師面對學(xué)生，inside or outside？

”It just, take over, you know." "Yeah, I have been trying to quit my whole life."

"Kid." "I actually find, cigarettes to be more difficult."

"Being a teacher is difficult."

"Everybody said that. But really it is not. I care about my job, and I'm pretty good at it. I care that my students succeed, they graduate, the outside. Tell you what I don't care about, is the inside, their silly little lies. That's the stuff that makes people think that it is hard, cause the stuff is hard. You gotta stay outside."

Miss S其實(shí)也沒有做到“inside”，但她……仿佛在努力

神奇的、讓我越來越喜歡的Margot

她仿佛很有自己的一套做事原則和評價(jià)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)：例如認(rèn)為沒有出賣女友的Miss S是拉拉，挑毛病Miss S的車、行為，評價(jià)Miss S的歌品，八卦Miss S的年齡、男朋友、性取向，一直很關(guān)心要Billy補(bǔ)考；

她同時(shí)很敏感，發(fā)覺侍者在和Miss S調(diào)情；

她很愛管閑事，例如在Miss S講話的時(shí)候她補(bǔ)充背景，她關(guān)心學(xué)校的藝術(shù)社團(tuán)投資甚至暗中資助旅途，安頓這趟旅程的一切

她的“原則”并不是不近人情，在一些時(shí)候她認(rèn)為可以撒謊，比如幫Billy考試；同時(shí)，在考試中，她又非常有原則地檢查會不會讓Billy偷看到答案

師生戀、同性戀

當(dāng)我們從演技的角度評判中間那段《推銷員之死》時(shí)，會覺得那是多么amazing，于是我們贊嘆Timothee是演技派的天才少年，但是當(dāng)我們以同樣的角度去審視電影的其他任何一個(gè)段落，都會帶著驚訝，驚嘆于那些角色的處理。我們沒發(fā)現(xiàn)是因?yàn)槲覀兛吹臅r(shí)候已經(jīng)上升到了另一種高度，那就是入戲，不是評判，而是相信。

「推銷員之死」獨(dú)白

1?? You gonna hear the truth,What you are and what I am. You never told the truth for 10 minutes in this house. Well hear this it is Willy, this is me. You wanna know why I have no address for three months? Its cos I stole a suite in Kansas City and I was in jail. I stole myself out of every good job since high school and I never got anywhere. because you blew me so full of hot air. I could never stand taking orders from anybody. that’s who’s fault it’s. it’s goddamn time you heard that pop.

2?? I ran down 11 flights with a pen in my hand today. Suddenly I stopped,do you hear me. And in the middle of the office building ,DO YOU HEAR THIS? I stopped in the middle of the building and I saw the sky. You know I saw all the things I love in this world, the work and the food, The time to just sit and smoke.

3?? I looked at the pen and I thought to myself, what the hell am I grabbing this for huh?

Why am I trying to become what I don’t wanna be? what am I doing in the office making a contemptuous begging fool of myself ,when all that I want is out there waiting for the second I say I know who I am. Why can’t I say that Willy?

4?? Pop look at me! I’m a dime a dozen! and so are you. I’m not the leader of men Willy and neither are you! you were never anything but a hard-working drummer who laid in the ashcan like all the rest of 'em. And me? I’m a dollar an hour Willy ! I tried seven states I couldn’t raise it. One buck an hour, do you gather my meaning,huh?

5?? I’m not bringing home prizes, anymore. And you gotta stop waiting for me to bring them home pop. I’m nothing ,I’m just what I am that’s all.

我不知道他們拍這部電影寓意是什么？it totally not make sense to me.kind of feel like waste my time. 師生戀情也并沒有發(fā)展到更深的一層，無論是mentally.還是sexually.老師很可愛。因?yàn)樽罱D(zhuǎn)Instagram和YouTube里面那種卡戴珊式面容的女孩所造成審美疲勞。突然覺得老師特別耐看特別自然。還有一個(gè)就是概念，我喜歡他們顛覆傳統(tǒng)的概念。為什么師生戀每次都是老男人對女學(xué)生的愛戀。這是種性別不平等對待